{"id":66915,"date":"2025-09-01T01:00:58","date_gmt":"2025-08-31T23:00:58","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/speakingo.com\/?p=66915"},"modified":"2025-09-10T09:44:23","modified_gmt":"2025-09-10T07:44:23","slug":"vtipy-v-anglictine-o-honziku-johnny-ve-skole","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/speakingo.com\/cs\/vtipy-v-anglictine-o-honziku-johnny-ve-skole\/","title":{"rendered":"Vtipy v angli\u010dtin\u011b o Honz\u00edku (Johnny) ve \u0161kole"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>Jak se v hodin\u011b angli\u010dtiny bl\u00fdsknout humorem? Zlep\u0161it n\u00e1ladu na spole\u010densk\u00e9m setk\u00e1n\u00ed v zahrani\u010d\u00ed? K na\u0161\u00ed \u00falev\u011b k n\u00e1m mohou p\u0159ij\u00edt obl\u00edben\u00e9 Honz\u00edkovy vtipy, tedy nevinn\u00e9 vtipy v angli\u010dtin\u011b o \u0161kole.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<!--more-->\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-css-opacity\"\/>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-bezpecne-vtipy-v-anglictine\">&#8222;Bezpe\u010dn\u00e9&#8220; vtipy v angli\u010dtin\u011b<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>Zde je n\u011bkolik vtip\u016f v angli\u010dtin\u011b, kter\u00e9 jsou ve v\u011bt\u0161in\u011b p\u0159\u00edpad\u016f bezpe\u010dn\u00e9. Zde najdete v\u00edce ne\u017e tucet vtip\u016f v angli\u010dtin\u011b o \u0161kole v origin\u00e1ln\u00edm zn\u011bn\u00ed s p\u0159ekladem.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Sna\u017ete se \u010d\u00edst samotn\u00fd anglick\u00fd text a na p\u0159eklad se pod\u00edvejte pouze v p\u0159\u00edpad\u011b nejasnost\u00ed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>V tomto p\u0159\u00edsp\u011bvku se na\u0161e vtipy v angli\u010dtin\u011b o \u0161kole budou to\u010dit kolem t\u00e9matu sp\u00ed\u0161e ran\u00e9ho d\u011btsk\u00e9ho vzd\u011bl\u00e1v\u00e1n\u00ed a legend\u00e1rn\u00edho Honz\u00edka neboli anglicky Johnnyho.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image alignnone wp-image-7191 size-full\"><img fetchpriority=\"high\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"640\" height=\"480\" src=\"https:\/\/speakingo.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/01\/smieszne-dowcipy-po-angielsku.jpg\" alt=\"vtipne vtipy v anglictine\" class=\"wp-image-7191\"\/><figcaption class=\"wp-element-caption\"><em>P\u0159e\u010dt\u011bte si tak\u00e9: <a href=\"https:\/\/speakingo.com\/cs\/12-funny-vtipy-in-english\/\">12 vtip\u016f v angli\u010dtin\u011b pro ka\u017edou p\u0159\u00edle\u017eitost<\/a><\/em><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-honzikovy-vtipy-v-anglictine-proc-jdes-pozde-honziku\">Honz\u00edkovy vtipy v angli\u010dtin\u011b &#8211; Pro\u010d jde\u0161 pozd\u011b Honziku?<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li><em>Teacher: \u201cWhy are you late, Johnny?\u201d<\/em><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p>(U\u010ditelka: &#8222;Pro\u010d jde\u0161 pozd\u011b, Honz\u00edku?&#8220;)<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li><em>Johnny: \u201cBecause of a sign down the road.\u201d<\/em><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p>(Honz\u00edk: &#8222;Podle zna\u010dky na silnici&#8220;.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li><em>Teacher: \u201cWhat does a sign have to do with you being late?\u201d<\/em><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p>(U\u010ditel: &#8222;Co m\u00e1 cedule spole\u010dn\u00e9ho s pozdn\u00edm p\u0159\u00edchodem?&#8220;)<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li><em>Johnny: \u201cThe sign said, \u2018School Ahead, Go Slow!&#8217;\u201d<\/em><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p>(Honz\u00edk: &#8222;Na ceduli bylo naps\u00e1no &#8218;P\u0159ed v\u00e1mi \u0161kola, zpomalte&#8216;.&#8220;)<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-large\"><img decoding=\"async\" width=\"640\" height=\"480\" src=\"https:\/\/speakingo.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/12\/anti-humour-anty-jokes-po-angielsku-chicken.jpg\" alt=\"16 anti-vtip\u016f anglick\u00e9ho anti-humoru.\" class=\"wp-image-17199\" srcset=\"https:\/\/speakingo.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/12\/anti-humour-anty-jokes-po-angielsku-chicken.jpg 640w, https:\/\/speakingo.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/12\/anti-humour-anty-jokes-po-angielsku-chicken-300x225.jpg 300w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\" \/><figcaption class=\"wp-element-caption\">&#8222;Pro\u010d to ku\u0159e \u0161lo p\u0159es ulici? Proto\u017ee se cht\u011bl dostat na druhou stranu!&#8220; <\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-vtipy-v-anglictine-o-skole-lekce-zemepisu\">Vtipy v angli\u010dtin\u011b o \u0161kole &#8211; lekce zem\u011bpisu<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li><em>The teacher of the earth science class was lecturing on map reading.<\/em><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p>(U\u010ditel p\u0159\u00edrodopisu p\u0159edn\u00e1\u0161\u00ed o \u010dten\u00ed map).<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li><em>After explaining about latitude, longitude, degrees and minutes the teacher asked:<\/em><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p>(Po vysv\u011btlen\u00ed zem\u011bpisn\u00e9 \u0161\u00ed\u0159ky, d\u00e9lky, stup\u0148\u016f a minut se u\u010ditel zeptal:)<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li><em>\u201cSuppose I asked you to meet me for lunch at 23 degrees, 4 minutes north latitude and 45 degrees, 15 minutes east longitude\u2026?\u201d<\/em><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p>(P\u0159edpokl\u00e1dejme, \u017ee v\u00e1s po\u017e\u00e1d\u00e1m o sch\u016fzku na ob\u011bd na 23 stupn\u00edch a \u010dty\u0159ech minut\u00e1ch severn\u00ed \u0161\u00ed\u0159ky a patn\u00e1cti minut\u00e1ch v\u00fdchodn\u00ed d\u00e9lky&#8230;?) &#8211; mluv\u00edme zde o p\u0159\u00edtomnosti, proto <a href=\"https:\/\/speakingo.com\/cs\/anglicke-podminovaci-zpusoby-kondicionaly-conditionals\/\">druh\u00fd podmi\u0148ovac\u00ed zp\u016fsob).<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li><em>After a confused silence, a voice volunteered, \u201cI guess you\u2019d be eating alone.\u201d<\/em><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p>(Po tichu pln\u00e9m zmatku se ozval hlas: &#8222;Asi bys to sn\u011bdl s\u00e1m.&#8220;)<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image\"><img decoding=\"async\" width=\"640\" height=\"408\" src=\"https:\/\/speakingo.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/12\/dowcipy-po-angielsku-o-szkole.jpg\" alt=\"vtipy v angli\u010dtin\u011b o \u0161kole\" class=\"wp-image-7063\"\/><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-vtipy-v-anglictine-o-skole-lekce-fyziky\">Vtipy v angli\u010dtin\u011b o \u0161kole &#8211; lekce fyziky<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li><em>Physics Teacher: \u201cIsaac Newton was sitting under a tree when an apple fell on his head and he discovered gravity. Isn\u2019t that wonderful?\u201d<\/em><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p>(U\u010ditel fyziky: &#8222;Isaac Newton sed\u011bl pod stromem, kdy\u017e mu na hlavu spadlo jablko a on objevil gravitaci. Nen\u00ed to \u00fa\u017easn\u00e9?&#8220;)<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li><em>Johnny: \u201cYes sir, if he had been sitting in class looking at books like us, he wouldn\u2019t have discovered anything.\u201d<\/em><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p>(Honz\u00edk: &#8222;Kdyby sed\u011bl ve t\u0159\u00edd\u011b a d\u00edval se do knih jako my, nic by neobjevil.&#8220;)<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>V\u0161imn\u011bte si, jak p\u011bkn\u011b je studentova odpov\u011b\u010f sestavena. Proto\u017ee spekulujeme o <a href=\"https:\/\/speakingo.com\/cs\/past-simple-tense-anglicky-minuly-cas\/\">minulosti<\/a>, a ne o <a href=\"https:\/\/speakingo.com\/cs\/anglicky-pritomny-cas-present-simple-present-continuous-srovnani\/\">p\u0159\u00edtomnosti<\/a>, pou\u017eil spr\u00e1vn\u011b t\u0159et\u00ed, a ne druh\u00fd <a href=\"https:\/\/speakingo.com\/cs\/anglicke-podminovaci-zpusoby-kondicionaly-conditionals\/\">podmi\u0148ovac\u00ed zp\u016fsob!<\/a> Tak\u017ee tohle hled\u00e1n\u00ed v knih\u00e1ch mu nejsp\u00ed\u0161 nevy\u0161lo tak \u0161patn\u011b! \ud83d\ude09<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image alignnone wp-image-11883 size-full\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"640\" height=\"480\" src=\"https:\/\/speakingo.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/04\/matura-ustna-z-jezyka-angielskiego.jpg\" alt=\"\u00fastn\u00ed maturita v angli\u010dtin\u011b\" class=\"wp-image-11883\" srcset=\"https:\/\/speakingo.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/04\/matura-ustna-z-jezyka-angielskiego.jpg 640w, https:\/\/speakingo.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/04\/matura-ustna-z-jezyka-angielskiego-300x225.jpg 300w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\" \/><figcaption class=\"wp-element-caption\"><em>1. Ve kter\u00e9 bitv\u011b Napoleon zem\u0159el. Jeho posledn\u00ed. 2. Kde byla podeps\u00e1na Deklarace nez\u00e1vislosti\/ Na konci listu. 3. V jak\u00e9m st\u00e1t\u011b te\u010de \u0159eka Ravi? V kapaln\u00e9m stavu (st\u00e1t\u011b). 4. Co je hlavn\u00ed p\u0159\u00ed\u010dinou rozvodu. Man\u017eelstv\u00ed. (F &#8211; Fail, neusp\u011bl, tj. zkou\u0161ka se nezda\u0159ila&#8230;)<\/em> <\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-vtipy-v-anglictine-o-skole-zlobivy-kluk-a-reziserova-dcera\">Vtipy v angli\u010dtin\u011b o \u0161kole &#8211; Zlobiv\u00fd kluk a re\u017eis\u00e9rova dcera<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li><em>\u201cIsn\u2019t the principal a dummy!\u201d \u2013 a boy told a girl.<\/em><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p>(&#8222;Jak\u00fd je ten \u0159editel \u0161koly hlup\u00e1k!&#8220; &#8211; \u0159ekl chlapec d\u00edvce).<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li><em>\u201cWell, do you know who I am?\u201d \u2013 asked the girl.<\/em><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p>(&#8222;Hmm, v\u00ed\u0161, kdo jsem?&#8220; zeptala se d\u00edvka.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li><em>\u201cNo.\u201d \u2013 replied the boy.<\/em><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p>(&#8222;Ne,&#8220; odpov\u011bd\u011bl chlapec.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li><em>\u201cI\u2019m the principal\u2019s daughter.\u201d \u2013 said the girl.<\/em><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p>(&#8222;Jsem dcera \u0159editele \u0161koly,&#8220; \u0159ekla d\u00edvka.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li><em>\u201cAnd do you know who I am?\u201d \u2013 asked the boy.<\/em><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p>(&#8222;A v\u00ed\u0161, kdo jsem j\u00e1?&#8220; zeptal se chlapec.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li><em>\u201cNo.\u201d \u2013 she replied.<\/em><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p>(&#8222;Ne,&#8220; odpov\u011bd\u011bla.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li><em>\u201cThank goodness!\u201d \u2013 said the boy with a sign of relief.<\/em><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p>(&#8222;D\u00edky bohu!&#8220; \u0159ekl chlapec se zjevnou \u00falevou).<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-large\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"640\" height=\"480\" src=\"https:\/\/speakingo.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/10\/placzace-dzieci-w-smiesznych-memach-po-angielsku-bus.jpg\" alt=\"Pla\u010d\u00edc\u00ed d\u011bti v legra\u010dn\u00edch memech v angli\u010dtin\u011b\" class=\"wp-image-16329\" srcset=\"https:\/\/speakingo.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/10\/placzace-dzieci-w-smiesznych-memach-po-angielsku-bus.jpg 640w, https:\/\/speakingo.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/10\/placzace-dzieci-w-smiesznych-memach-po-angielsku-bus-300x225.jpg 300w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\" \/><figcaption class=\"wp-element-caption\">&#8222;Chce jet autobusem. T\u00edm, kter\u00fd je v televizi.&#8220; Viz tak\u00e9: <a href=\"https:\/\/speakingo.com\/cs\/placici-deti-ve-22-legracnich-memech-v-anglictine\/\">v 22 vtipn\u00fdch memech v angli\u010dtin\u011b.<\/a><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-vtipy-v-anglictine-o-honzikovi-zeme-je-placata\">Vtipy v angli\u010dtin\u011b o Honz\u00edkovi &#8211; Zem\u011b je placat\u00e1!<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li><em>Teacher asked Johhny: \u201cHow can you prove the earth is round?\u201d<\/em><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p>(U\u010ditel se Honz\u00edka zeptal: &#8222;Jak m\u016f\u017eete dok\u00e1zat, \u017ee je Zem\u011b kulat\u00e1?&#8220;)<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li><em>Johnny replied: \u201cI can\u2019t. Besides, I never said it was!\u201d<\/em><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p>(Honz\u00edk odpov\u011bd\u011bl: &#8222;Nemohu. A krom\u011b toho jsem nikdy ne\u0159ekl, \u017ee je!&#8220;)<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Zde si v\u0161imn\u011bte u\u017eit\u00ed <a href=\"https:\/\/speakingo.com\/cs\/typu-neprime-reci-v-anglictine\/\">z\u00e1visl\u00e9 \u0159e\u010di <em>(reported speech)<\/em><\/a> v Honz\u00edkov\u011b odpov\u011bdi <em>(I never said it <strong>was<\/strong>).<\/em> V \u010de\u0161tin\u011b m\u00e1me p\u0159\u00edtomn\u00fd \u010das (&#8222;Zem\u011b <strong>je<\/strong> placat\u00e1&#8220;), v angli\u010dtin\u011b se \u0159\u00edd\u00edme pravidlem &#8222;jeden \u010das zp\u011bt&#8220;.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image alignnone wp-image-571 size-full\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"640\" height=\"454\" src=\"https:\/\/speakingo.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/06\/mowa-zalezna-w-jezyku-angielskim.jpg\" alt=\"nep\u0159\u00edm\u00e1 \u0159e\u010d v angli\u010dtin\u011b\" class=\"wp-image-571\" srcset=\"https:\/\/speakingo.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/06\/mowa-zalezna-w-jezyku-angielskim.jpg 640w, https:\/\/speakingo.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/06\/mowa-zalezna-w-jezyku-angielskim-300x213.jpg 300w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\" \/><figcaption class=\"wp-element-caption\"><em>P\u0159e\u010dt\u011bte si tak\u00e9:<\/em> <a href=\"https:\/\/speakingo.com\/cs\/typu-neprime-reci-v-anglictine\/\"><em>Plotting versus dependent speech in English.<\/em><\/a><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-vtipy-v-anglictine-o-skole-matematicky-ukol-1\">Vtipy v angli\u010dtin\u011b o \u0161kole &#8211; Matematick\u00fd \u00fakol 1<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li><em>Teacher: \u201cHere is a math problem. If your dad earned $300 dollars a week and he gave your mother half, what should he have?\u201d<\/em><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p>(U\u010ditel: &#8222;\u00dakol z matematiky. Pokud tv\u016fj otec vyd\u011bl\u00e1val 300 dolar\u016f t\u00fddn\u011b a dal tv\u00e9 mamince polovinu, kolik by mu m\u011blo z\u016fstat?&#8220;)<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li><em>Student: \u201cA heart attack.\u201d<\/em><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p>(Student: &#8222;Infarkt&#8220;)<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Zde se to nep\u0159ekl\u00e1d\u00e1 \u00fapln\u011b p\u011bkn\u011b, proto\u017ee v angli\u010dtin\u011b pou\u017e\u00edv\u00e1me slovo <em>have<\/em> v obou p\u0159\u00edpadech: <em>have money<\/em> a <em>have a heart attack.<\/em> V tomto, stejn\u011b jako v n\u00e1sleduj\u00edc\u00edm matematick\u00e9m vtipu v angli\u010dtin\u011b, si m\u016f\u017eeme op\u011bt dokonale procvi\u010dit druh\u00fd <a href=\"https:\/\/speakingo.com\/cs\/anglicke-podminovaci-zpusoby-kondicionaly-conditionals\/\">podmi\u0148ovac\u00ed zp\u016fsob<\/a>, tj. uva\u017eov\u00e1n\u00ed o p\u0159\u00edtomnosti.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image alignnone wp-image-6820 size-full\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"640\" height=\"430\" src=\"https:\/\/speakingo.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/11\/angielski-pacjent-slownictwo-medyczne-po-angielsku-handwriting.jpg\" alt=\"vtipy v angli\u010dtin\u011b medical honz\u00edka\" class=\"wp-image-6820\"\/><figcaption class=\"wp-element-caption\"><em>P\u00ed\u0161u \u010diteln\u011b. Pacienti mi nev\u011b\u0159\u00ed, \u017ee jsem opravdu l\u00e9ka\u0159..<\/em><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-vtipy-v-anglictine-o-skole-matematicky-ukol-2\">Vtipy v angli\u010dtin\u011b o \u0161kole &#8211; Matematick\u00fd \u00fakol 2<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li><em>Teacher: \u201cIf you had one dollar and you asked your father for another, how many dollars would you have?\u201d<\/em><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p>(U\u010ditel: &#8222;Kdybys m\u011bl jeden dolar a po\u017e\u00e1dal sv\u00e9ho otce o dal\u0161\u00ed, kolik dolar\u016f bys m\u011bl?&#8220;)<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li><em>Johnny: \u201cOne dollar.\u201d<\/em><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p>(Honz\u00edk: &#8222;Jeden dolar.&#8220;)<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li><em>Teacher: \u201cYou don\u2019t know your arithmetic.\u201d<\/em><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p>(U\u010ditel: &#8222;Ty neum\u00ed\u0161 po\u010d\u00edtat&#8220;).<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li><em>Johnny: \u201cYou don\u2019t know my father.\u201d<\/em><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p>(Honz\u00edk: &#8222;To vy nezn\u00e1te m\u00e9ho otce.&#8220;)<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>V\u0161imn\u011bte si, \u017ee a\u010dkoli v angli\u010dtin\u011b \u0159\u00edk\u00e1me per &#8218;<em>you&#8216;<\/em> (vy), je to v tomto kontextu ekvivalent \u010desk\u00e9ho &#8218;pane&#8216;, &#8218;pan\u00ed&#8216;. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-vtipy-v-anglictine-o-skole-matematicky-ukol-3\">Vtipy v angli\u010dtin\u011b o \u0161kole &#8211; Matematick\u00fd \u00fakol 3<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li><em>Teacher: \u201cJohn, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?\u201d<\/em><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p>(U\u010ditelka: &#8222;Honz\u00edku, pro\u010d d\u011bl\u00e1\u0161 n\u00e1sobilku na zemi?&#8220;)<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li><em>John: \u201cYou told me to do it without using tables.\u201d<\/em><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p>(Honz\u00edk: &#8222;\u0158\u00edkal jsi, \u017ee se to m\u00e1 obej\u00edt bez tal\u00ed\u0159\u016f.&#8220;)<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I zde se jedn\u00e1 o nep\u0159elo\u017eitelnou slovn\u00ed h\u0159\u00ed\u010dku: <em>table<\/em> je &#8222;st\u016fl&#8220;, ale tak\u00e9 &#8222;tabulka&#8220;. Proto jsou <em>maths tables<\/em> nebo <em>multiplication tables<\/em> &#8222;n\u00e1sobilkov\u00fdmi tabulkami&#8220;. Ha, ha, ha \ud83d\ude09<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image alignnone wp-image-6598 size-full\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"640\" height=\"480\" src=\"https:\/\/speakingo.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/08\/przeklady-polsko-angielskie-1.jpg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-6598\"\/><figcaption class=\"wp-element-caption\"><em>Viz tak\u00e9<\/em>: <a href=\"https:\/\/speakingo.com\/cs\/trestuhodne-preklady-z-anglictiny-do-cestiny\/\"><em>Trestn\u00e9 p\u0159eklady v online kurzu angli\u010dtiny Speakingo?<\/em><\/a><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-honzikovy-vtipy-v-anglictine-esej-o-psovi\">Honz\u00edkovy vtipy v angli\u010dtin\u011b &#8211; Esej o psovi<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li><em>Teacher: \u201cThis essay on your dog is, word for word, the same as your brother\u2019s.\u201d<\/em><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p>(U\u010ditel: Tato esej o tv\u00e9m psovi je slovo od slova stejn\u00e1 jako esej tv\u00e9ho bratra.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li><em>Johnny: &#8222;Yes, sir, it is the same dog.\u201d<\/em><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p>(Honz\u00edk: &#8222;Ano, pane, je to ten sam\u00fd pes.&#8220;)<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image alignnone wp-image-6371 size-full\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"640\" height=\"480\" src=\"https:\/\/speakingo.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/10\/buldog-angielski-komendy-dla-psa.jpg\" alt=\"povely pro va\u0161eho psa\" class=\"wp-image-6371\"\/><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-honzikovy-vtipy-v-anglictine-psani-ve-tme\">Honz\u00edkovy vtipy v angli\u010dtin\u011b &#8211; Psan\u00ed ve tm\u011b<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li><em>Johnny: \u201cDad, can you write in the dark?\u201d<\/em><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p>(Honz\u00edk: &#8222;Tati, um\u00ed\u0161 ps\u00e1t potm\u011b?&#8220;)<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li><em>Dad: \u201cI think so. What do you want me to write?\u201d<\/em><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p>(T\u00e1ta: &#8222;Mysl\u00edm, \u017ee ano. Co m\u00e1m napsat?&#8220;)<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li><em>Johnny: \u201cYour name on my report card.\u201d<\/em><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p>(Honz\u00edk: &#8222;Moje jm\u00e9no na vysv\u011bd\u010den\u00ed&#8220;).<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image alignnone is-resized wp-image-6977\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/speakingo.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/12\/mccallister-kevin-sam-w-domu-home-alone-angielski-shave.gif\" alt=\"kevin mccallister, kevin sam w domu, home alone\" class=\"wp-image-6977\" width=\"640\"\/><figcaption class=\"wp-element-caption\"><em>Viz tak\u00e9:<\/em> <a href=\"https:\/\/speakingo.com\/cs\/kevin-sam-doma-anglictina-mccallister-home-alone\/\"><em>Byli rodi\u010de Kevina S\u00e1m doma z mafie?<\/em><\/a><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-vtipy-v-anglictine-o-skole-absence\">Vtipy v angli\u010dtin\u011b o \u0161kole &#8211; Absence<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li><em>Mother: \u201cWhy did you get such a low mark on that test?\u201d<\/em><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p>(Matka: &#8222;Pro\u010d jsi z toho testu dostal tak n\u00edzkou zn\u00e1mku?&#8220;)<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li><em>Johnny: \u201cBecause of absence.\u201d<\/em><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p>(Honz\u00edk: &#8222;Z d\u016fvodu nep\u0159\u00edtomnosti&#8220;.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li><em>Mother: \u201cYou mean you were absent on the day of the test?\u201d<\/em><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p>(Matka: &#8222;Chce\u0161 \u0159\u00edct, \u017ee jsi v den testu chyb\u011bl?&#8220;)<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li><em>Johnny: \u201cNo, but the kid who sits next to me was.\u201d<\/em><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p>(Honz\u00edk: &#8222;Ne, ale ten kluk, co obvykle sed\u00ed vedle m\u011b.&#8220;)<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image alignnone wp-image-614 size-full\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"640\" height=\"480\" src=\"https:\/\/speakingo.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/07\/dzien-w-angielskiej-szkole-podstawowej.jpg\" alt=\"den na anglick\u00e9 z\u00e1kladn\u00ed \u0161kole\" class=\"wp-image-614\" srcset=\"https:\/\/speakingo.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/07\/dzien-w-angielskiej-szkole-podstawowej.jpg 640w, https:\/\/speakingo.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/07\/dzien-w-angielskiej-szkole-podstawowej-300x225.jpg 300w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\" \/><figcaption class=\"wp-element-caption\"><em>P\u0159e\u010dt\u011bte si tak\u00e9:<\/em> <a href=\"https:\/\/speakingo.com\/cs\/den-v-anglicke-zakladni-skole-uk\/\"><em>Jak vypad\u00e1 den v anglick\u00e9 z\u00e1kladn\u00ed \u0161kole?<\/em><\/a><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-vtipy-v-anglictine-o-skole-millenials\">Vtipy v angli\u010dtin\u011b o \u0161kole &#8211; Millenials<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li><em>Teacher: \u201cJohnny, name one important thing we have today that we didn\u2019t have ten years ago.\u201d<\/em><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p>(U\u010ditel: &#8222;Honz\u00edku, \u0159ekni jednu d\u016fle\u017eitou v\u011bc, kterou dnes m\u00e1me a kterou jsme p\u0159ed deseti lety nem\u011bli.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li><em>Johnny: \u201cMe.\u201d<\/em><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p>(Honz\u00edk: &#8220; J\u00e1&#8220;)<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-vtipy-v-anglictine-o-skole-nespravedlivy-trest\">Vtipy v angli\u010dtin\u011b o \u0161kole &#8211; Nespravedliv\u00fd trest?<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li><em>A little girl came home from school and said to her mother:<\/em><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p>(D\u00edvka p\u0159i\u0161la ze \u0161koly a \u0159ekla to matce.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li><em>\u201cMommy, today in school I was punished for something that I didn\u2019t do.\u201d<\/em><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p>(&#8222;Mami, dnes jsem byl ve \u0161kole potrest\u00e1n za n\u011bco, co jsem neud\u011blal.&#8220;)<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li><em>The mother exclaimed, \u201cBut that\u2019s terrible! I\u2019m going to have a talk with your teacher about this \u2026 by the way, what was it that you didn\u2019t do?<\/em>\u201d<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p>(Matka vyk\u0159ikla: &#8222;To je hrozn\u00e9! U\u017e si o tom jdu promluvit s tv\u00fdm u\u010ditelem&#8230;.. a mimochodem, co jsi neud\u011blal?&#8220;)<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li><em>The little girl replied, \u201cMy homework.\u201d<\/em><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p>(D\u00edvka odpov\u011bd\u011bla: &#8222;M\u016fj dom\u00e1c\u00ed \u00fakol.&#8220;)<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image alignnone wp-image-778 size-full\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"640\" height=\"427\" src=\"https:\/\/speakingo.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/04\/czasowniki-ciagle.jpg\" alt=\"anglick\u00e1 slovesa pr\u016fb\u011bhov\u00e1\" class=\"wp-image-778\" srcset=\"https:\/\/speakingo.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/04\/czasowniki-ciagle.jpg 640w, https:\/\/speakingo.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/04\/czasowniki-ciagle-300x200.jpg 300w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\" \/><figcaption class=\"wp-element-caption\"><em>Viz tak\u00e9: <a href=\"https:\/\/speakingo.com\/cs\/prubehovy-tvar-slovesa-continuous-form-anglicky\/\">Anglick\u00fd pr\u016fb\u011bhov\u00fd tvar slovesa<\/a><\/em><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-a-jak-ti-jde-domaci-ukol-z-anglictiny\">A jak ti jde dom\u00e1c\u00ed \u00fakol z angli\u010dtiny?<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Poda\u0159ilo se v\u00e1m pochopit v\u0161echny ty vtipy o \u0161kole v angli\u010dtin\u011b, ani\u017e byste je p\u0159ekl\u00e1dali do \u010de\u0161tiny?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>M\u00e1te d\u016fv\u011bru mluvit anglicky?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Pokud chcete zlep\u0161it svou angli\u010dtinu, zejm\u00e9na sv\u00e9 \u0159e\u010dnick\u00e9 dovednosti, zvu v\u00e1s na <a href=\"https:\/\/speakingo.com\/cs\/kurz-anglictiny-online\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">online kurz angli\u010dtiny Speakingo!<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>U\u010den\u00ed zde nespo\u010d\u00edv\u00e1 v od\u0159\u00edk\u00e1v\u00e1n\u00ed \u0161koln\u00edch pravidel nebo v biflov\u00e1n\u00ed nudn\u00fdch slov\u00ed\u010dek p\u0159ed testem, ale v konverzaci v pln\u00fdch a spr\u00e1vn\u00fdch v\u011bt\u00e1ch v angli\u010dtin\u011b. T\u00edmto zp\u016fsobem se nau\u010d\u00edte jedno i druh\u00e9 z\u00e1rove\u0148 a nav\u00edc p\u0159i mluven\u00ed nep\u0159em\u00fd\u0161l\u00edte, kter\u00e9 pravidlo pou\u017e\u00edt, ale prost\u011b mluv\u00edte. U\u010d\u00edte se anglicky, jako kdy\u017e se d\u00edt\u011b u\u010d\u00ed mluvit.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Zaj\u00edmav\u00e9 na kurzu Speakingo English je, \u017ee mluv\u00edte&#8230;. s po\u010d\u00edta\u010dem nebo telefonem, kter\u00fd v\u00e1m &#8211; co\u017e je je\u0161t\u011b zaj\u00edmav\u011bj\u0161\u00ed &#8211; rozum\u00ed, chv\u00e1l\u00ed v\u00e1s a v p\u0159\u00edpad\u011b pot\u0159eby opravuje. Tento druh v\u00fduky je proto nejen rychl\u00fd a efektivn\u00ed, ale tak\u00e9 p\u0159\u00edjemn\u00fd &#8211; v neposledn\u00ed \u0159ad\u011b d\u00edky kr\u00e1sn\u00fdm obr\u00e1zk\u016fm, p\u0159\u00edjemn\u00e9mu hlasu rodil\u00e9ho mluv\u010d\u00edho nebo vtip\u016fm a humoru, kter\u00e9 se objevuj\u00ed v ka\u017ed\u00e9 lekci.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Proto je nejlep\u0161\u00ed se na kurz zaregistrovat dv\u011bma kliknut\u00edmi n\u00ed\u017ee a nez\u00e1vazn\u011b si ov\u011b\u0159it, zda v\u00e1m vyhovuje. S n\u00edm budete brzy vypr\u00e1v\u011bt vtipy v angli\u010dtin\u011b jako profesion\u00e1ln\u00ed komik!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-text-align-right\">Vtipy v angli\u010dtin\u011b o \u0161kole p\u016fj\u010den\u00e9<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-text-align-right\">ze vzd\u011bl\u00e1vac\u00edho webu <a href=\"https:\/\/academictips.org\/blogs\/jokes\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Academic Tips<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><em>A jak\u00e9 jsou va\u0161e obl\u00edben\u00e9 vtipy v angli\u010dtin\u011b o \u0161kole? Napi\u0161te do koment\u00e1\u0159\u016f sv\u00e9 obl\u00edben\u00e9 Honz\u00edkovy vtipy v angli\u010dtin\u011b!<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-css-opacity\"\/>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"has-text-align-center wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-zaregistrujte-se-na-online-kurz-anglictiny-speakingo\">Zaregistrujte se na online kurz angli\u010dtiny Speakingo!<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"has-text-align-center wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-vyzkousejte-si-ji-na-tyden-zdarma\">Vyzkou\u0161ejte si ji na t\u00fdden zdarma!<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-css-opacity\"\/>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Jak se v hodin\u011b angli\u010dtiny bl\u00fdsknout humorem? Zlep\u0161it n\u00e1ladu na spole\u010densk\u00e9m setk\u00e1n\u00ed v zahrani\u010d\u00ed? K na\u0161\u00ed \u00falev\u011b k n\u00e1m mohou p\u0159ij\u00edt obl\u00edben\u00e9 Honz\u00edkovy vtipy, tedy nevinn\u00e9 vtipy v angli\u010dtin\u011b o \u0161kole.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":48289,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[4337,3653,3380],"tags":[3687,4706,8983,4707,8982,8235,6728],"class_list":["post-66915","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-anglicky-humor","category-anglicka-slova-a-idiomy","category-ucebna","tag-anglicky","tag-chistes-cs","tag-honzik","tag-humor-cs","tag-skola","tag-slowka-cs","tag-vtipy"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v27.4 (Yoast SEO v27.4) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-premium-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Vtipy v angli\u010dtin\u011b o Honz\u00edku (Johnny) ve \u0161kole &#8902; Speakingo &#8902;<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Jak se v hodin\u011b angli\u010dtiny bl\u00fdsknout humorem? 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